I was a fifth grader sitting nervously in a church pew. The silence rang loudly in my ears. Inside, my heart was pounding. I turned around and anxiously looked at my mom. She smiled at me and then gave me a reassuring look. I went back to picking at my nails. It seemed like the sound of every movement in the church was amplified a hundred times. Around me were other fidgety contestants who were slightly older than me. At last, the adjudicator stood up and walked to the front. She began by giving us a welcoming speech that I've heard many times before. Hurry up and get to the end of it, I thought impatiently. Then, she got to the individual critiques. One by one, she explained what she liked about our performances and where we could improve. I sat there stiffly in my itchy dress shirt and my tightly-pinching shoes, waiting for the moment to come. Finally, she finished her closing remarks and began the awards. "In third place, we have..." Aww, I really wished she had called my name. I quietly sighed in despair. "In second place..." Yeah, I guess that girl deserved it. She was better than me. I lost hope. I was going to go home empty-handed. I wish I could just go home now. I've got to practice for my next competition tonight, anyways. "And first place goes to Tina Lei." This can't be happening! Did she really just call my name? "Tina?" Then everything seemed to pass by in a blur. All of a sudden, I was up on my uncomfortable shoes, shaking the adjudicator's hand and hearing her say, "Congratulations!". I accepted the certificate and spun around to face the audience and take my bow.
But I couldn't see anyone at all. In the place of 500 people was a flood of bright, white light. I closed my eyes and quickly tried to remember why I was up here. For the past few months, my elementary school had been rigorously practicing for this night. As grade eights, we planned to end our last year together with a memorable event - something that would impress our school. So our class decided to put on Tom Sawyer, as a play. I got the role of Doc, one of the robbers in the story. As I reopened my eyes, I took a deep breath and started to recite my lines. Without thinking, words continuously flowed out of my mouth and the rest of it went by in a blur. My henchmen and I danced and sang our final number, "Money, Money, Money" and then our act was over. The lights dimmed and darkness slowly blanketed the gym.
It seemed to extend indefinitely. The pitch-blackness was all I could see for miles and miles on end. We were travelling about 200 km/h. Occasionally, I'd see a swish of light, but I couldn't make heads or tales of it. Everything outside seemed to pass by in a blur. Earlier in the evening, our club had attended the awarding ceremonies for DECA. The two-day competition was a fruitful one; 3 of our competitors made it to Nationals in Florida and a handful of others received medals of distinction. It was a long day for all of us and now everyone in my compartment was asleep. Except for me. I can't sleep on any type of moving vehicle. Or airplanes or boats for that matter. So I simply sat there, staring out into the darkness. Thinking. Thinking about what my future would look like. Thinking of what the future has in store for me.
These days, I think a lot. Hours seem to pass by in a blur when I'm thinking. Just thinking.
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